Damn Imus

“That’s some nappy-headed ho’s there, I’m going to tell you that.”

Those are the words that got Don Imus suspended from his own radio show. The comment was made in regards to the Rutgers women’s basketball team one day after their loss in the NCAA national championship game.

Imus’s remark was discriminating. Unjust. And worthy of repercussion.
But that is not why I am upset with what he said. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson can be the ones to worry about racial righteousness.

I chastise Imus for many other flaws regarding his racial slur. Where do I begin…?

First of all, anyone who has their own radio show should be capable of
forming a grammatically correct sentence. “That’s some nappy-headed
ho’s…”doesn’t sound like textbook material to me. But I’ll let Imus slide on the grammar.

What I can’t excuse though, is that Imus would tease the Rutgers players
about their appearance. Have you seen what Imus looks like lately?
Sure, these girls might have nappy hair. But it’s genetics. Imus on the
other hand…well, he looks like the mutant offspring of Robert Redford
and David Bowie. Okay ladies, Redford and Bowie may have been sexy in
the seventies, but this is 2007. Mold the looks of those two with a
California raisin, and you get the idea. Imus is rocking wrinkles
longer than his hippy hairdo. But once again I’m nitpicking.

My real beef with Imus is that he doesn’t understand the Comedic Chauvinistic Code of Conduct (CCCC).

The CCCC has one cardinal rule:
1) A person may only safely discriminate against his/her own kind.
a. Hence the reason Blacks are allowed to use the word “nigger” while
whites must refrain from such language (I just had to use it to prove a
point).

So the only way Imus could have possibly made up for what he said, would have been to follow rule # 416 of the CCCC; the South Park rule.

The South Park rule states that in order to poke fun at a race, gender,
religion, etc. other than one’s own, said person must discriminate
against every possible race, gender, religion, etc. known to mankind.
This gets very tricky however, as it takes time to brew enough jokes to
go around. And I’m assuming Imus is only allotted a one-hour time slot
for his show.

So as it turns out, Don Imus will be lynched because of his inability to follow the simple rules of the CCCC.

Just kidding. Imus gets to live. But first he must be publicly humiliated by Al Sharpton.